Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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