well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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