Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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