I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
