We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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