I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
