weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
