The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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