i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
