Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
