Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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