I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
They have beer where we have blood.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
as a side note pls kill me
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize