how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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