Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
