I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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