Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
