He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
