duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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