I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
