I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize