What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
