all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
