I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
