worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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