You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
