Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
