There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Floor bacon is actually really good
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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