oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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