oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
