Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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