Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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