Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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