hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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