you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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