Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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