Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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