...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
