Moan for me like Helen Keller
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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