Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
