you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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