I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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