I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
