Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
so explain again why im purple
no
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
