I skipped work to stalk him.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
