Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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