The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
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