What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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