I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
only you would photoshop your dick
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Randomize
