Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
