I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Small penises have feelings too.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
