well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
