Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
