I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
