We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
