Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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