its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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