I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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