Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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