ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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