Where are you?
In a non slutty way
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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