The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
